Darcy Kolander | Homemade with Love

Darcy Kolander | Staff writer
So my middle daughter, Jozie, who is smarter than I am, asked if she could borrow my phone to see if her headphones were working. If it was just her headphones, she said, she would know, as they weren’t working in her own phone. She gave me my phone back and said, "It’s my charging port, they work in your phone.”
"So use your Bluetooth Beats,” I said.
No response.
After a while I get a text on my phone from Jozie, asking, "Mom, can I get a puppy tomorrow?”
My response, "No!”
Except when I texted no, it didn’t show up as no. It showed up as "Yes, darling. A German shepherd.”
What was happening? It took me a minute to realize what she had done.
"Jozie! What are you doing?!” I texted.
When she borrowed my phone earlier in the day, she had programmed it to say, "Yes, darling. A German shepherd,” for the response she knew she would actually receive, "No.”
So, if anyone receives the response, "Yes, darling. A German shepherd,” from me, just know that the answer to your question is no, because I don’t know how to program it back.
"I think my favorite part of being a mother has been sacrificing my body, career, mental stability and psychical appearance to wait on them hand and foot. Only to be met with, ‘YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING FOR ME,’ when I ask them to pick up a fruit snack wrapper. It is very rewarding.” – Unknown
After texting my sister a happy birthday on Friday, I asked her to send me a vegan-friendly recipe. She fittingly sent a recipe for Spicy BBQ Cauliflower Wings. It actually looks quite tasty.
Vegan Spicy BBQ Cauliflower Wings
1 pound cauliflower, without leaves
3 ounces plain flour
5 tablespoons plant-based milk
2 teaspoons dried mixed herbs
Salt and pepper
1 cup panko bread crumbs
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon hot sauce
3/4 cup BBQ sauce
To serve (optional)
Sesame seeds
Spring onion
Remember, if you are truly trying vegan you also have to make your own dressing. But if you made it to this point, I’d say you’re doing well!
For the ranch dressing (optional)
1/2 cup vegan mayonnaise
1 or 2 tablespoons oat milk
1/2 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon dry dill
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
Pinches of salt and pepper
Preheat the oven to 390°F and line a large baking tray with baking paper.
In a mixing bowl combine the flour, plant-based milk, mixed herbs and big pinches of salt and pepper with 5 tablespoons water. Whisk until fully combined into a batter.
Next, add the panko breadcrumbs to a medium-sized mixing bowl along with the vegetable oil. Use your hands to combine (make sure you remove any clumps).
Trim the stalk of the cauliflower. Then cut the cauliflower into bite-sized florets and use your hands to tear apart any big pieces.
Add the cauliflower florets to the batter and use a spoon to toss them in the batter. Once the florets are fully coated, add them to the breadcrumb mix one at a time and toss them in the breadcrumbs, then place on the lined baking tray.
Bake the florets for 25 minutes.
Meanwhile, if serving with ranch dressing, add all the ingredients to a small mixing bowl and stir to combine.
To make the BBQ hot sauce, add the sauce ingredients to a saucepan or a wok on low heat. Stir and cook for 2-3 minutes until the sauce is hot.
Once the cauliflower has finished baking, add the florets to the saucepan with the hot sauce and stir through until the florets are fully coated.
Transfer the hot wings to a serving plate and top with a sprinkling of sesame seeds. To finish, finely slice half a spring onion and sprinkle on top. Serve with the homemade ranch dressing.

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